Struggling with perimenopause? Discover how I found a supportive practitioner, learned to advocate for myself, and took charge of my health with books, podcasts, and practical tips.
I don’t know about you, but I’m really grateful for the wealth of information now available online about women’s health, especially around perimenopause and menopause. Back at school, we learned about periods and how not to get pregnant, with a room full of giggling girls, and that was about it! Thirty years later when my body started to change, I realised I knew very little about my own health and had few trustworthy resources to turn to. When I first started looking things up online so that I could educate myself, there wasn’t much available, and what I did find was often conflicting or out of date.
Why women’s health matters
As many of us know, women’s health has historically been underfunded and under-researched. Too often women have suffered in silence, assuming that symptoms such as hot flushes, sleepless nights, weight gain, or anxiety are just “part of getting older”. For decades, women have been told by their doctors to simply “put up with it” until it passes. Meanwhile, many have lost self-esteem, struggled with their professional lives, faced relationship challenges, and developed long-term health issues. It’s no wonder, really; the average doctor receives only a handful of hours of menopause training during medical school!
Thankfully, in recent years, brilliant female doctors have been speaking out, sharing their expertise on perimenopause and menopause, and empowering women to get the care they deserve. But while credible medical voices have grown louder, so too has the noise on social media. Instagram in particular is full of unqualified advice and quick fixes from unqualified people. Sorting the reliable from the misleading can feel overwhelming.
I’m not a doctor (far from it!) but I am someone who reads, researches, and experiments to improve her own health. I want to share a little of what I’ve learned, in case you’re also navigating this stage of life.
My wake-up call
Like many people, the pandemic years were tough on my health. Stress, working from home, isolation, diet, and age all played a role in weight gain and, more worryingly, in changes to my bloodwork. Despite counting calories, eating protein, cleaning up my diet, working out more, and going to bed early, nothing shifted.
My BMI was 26, my body fat 32%, and my HbA1c (a marker for blood sugar) had crept into the pre-diabetic range. While I didn’t look “overweight”, I knew something wasn’t right especially as I was exercising regularly. Food had lost its joy, I was constantly frustrated, my clothes didn’t fit, I felt sluggish and tired, I didn’t like what I saw in the mirror, and I didn’t feel confident or healthy.
When I raised these concerns with my primary care physician in DC, she told me to “keep doing what you’re doing”. She didn’t seem concerned and advised that I track my weight, which I’d already been doing….for years! Honestly? If I’d followed that advice, I’d be heading for obesity and diabetes within a decade. That old Einstein quote came to mind: “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” I knew it was time to take charge.
Seeking specialist support
Not knowing where else to turn, I researched online and came across Midi, a women’s health practice offering virtual appointments for women in their 30s, 40s, 50s and beyond. There are other organisations similar to Midi, but I chose them because of their reviews and because my insurance covered it. I also had a friend at work who had gone to them and found them really helpful.
Unfortunately, my first appointment didn’t go well. I’d filled out all the pre-appointment questionnaires, but the practitioner seemed to think I was only looking for weight-loss drugs, and I left disappointed and deflated. I made a complaint as this was too serious (and expensive) for me to ignore, which Midi, to their credit, responded to immediately. I was then matched with a wonderful nurse practitioner who took me seriously and was extremely knowledgeable.
When I met with the nurse, we discussed my exercise routine, bloodwork, weight, and symptoms. I was able to talk through my family history, explain that I love long distance running, discuss my weight gain and general sluggish feelings, and felt truly heard. She was also a similar age to me and shared some of her experiences, helping me to realise that it wasn’t all in my head and that other women feel the same way too! Together we created a plan for positive, lasting change. It’s still a work in progress, and I know that some of the things we’re doing are trial and error, but I appreciate the opportunity to try things and see what works – there’s been no gate-keeping to solutions! I’ve now been with Midi for over a year, my health is moving in the right direction and more importantly, I feel that I have an advocate and someone to reach out to to ask any of the questions that might come up.
Advocating for yourself
Even with a supportive practitioner, it’s important to remember that you still need to advocate for yourself. A 20-30 minutes appointment every few months isn’t going to be enough and turning up without having done any research won’t get you far. Being proactive about your health really pays off and feels empowering!
What’s helped me:
- Reading books on perimenopause, women’s health and exercise.
- Listening to podcasts on the above topics.
- Researching online and separating evidence-based advice from noise.
- Chatting with friends and asking them about their experiences.
Here are some of the resources I’ve found helpful:
Books
Estrogen Matters: Avrum Z. Bluming, MD and Carol Tavris, PhD
The New Menopause: Dr Mary Claire Haver
The New Perimenopause: Dr Mary Claire Haver (coming soon)
How to Menopause: Tamsen Fadal
Podcasts
Hot for Your Health: Dr Vonda Wright
The Mel Robins Podcast (general life advice, but great for women in their 30s, 40s and beyond)
You are Not Broken: Dr Kelly Casperson
Be proactive, not reactive
When I first contacted Midi, I assumed I’d need to wait until my periods were irregular, or my symptoms severe, before anyone would help. Instead, I found practitioners who wanted to get ahead – to support my marathon training and prepare me for the changes that come with age.
That proactive approach has been a game-changer. My husband and I have tweaked our diet, prioritised sleep, and I’ve added strength training, supplements, and hormone therapy into the mix (more on those in a future post).
One of the biggest lessons? Well-prepared questions make for better appointments. Doctors and nurses enjoy working with women who are invested in their own health.
Before every appointment I:
- Review my medications and supplements
- Reflect on how I’m feeling
Write down a list of questions - Check if I need to request any prescriptions
You could keep a notebook for all health related things, so that you keep all of your info in one spot. I’ve not done that yet, but it’s on my mind to set up so I never have to go on the hunt for my notes.`
Final thoughts
Health really is a journey – cliché though it sounds. It requires staying curious, proactive, and vocal when something doesn’t feel right.
I feel stronger, healthier, and more supported now than I did a year ago. But I know things can change, and I need to stay engaged. My advice? Don’t wait until you’re struggling. Don’t settle for poor advice. Advocate for yourself, and find people who will support you.
It may take some trial and error, but it’s worth it. If you’ve had similar experiences with perimenopause, or if you’re just starting to explore what’s happening with your health, I’d love to hear from you. Share your story in the comments, or connect with me on Instagram @trainingwithvicky.
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